What is fear of commitment? What causes commitment phobia?

‘Fear of commitment’ is used to describe a person who seems chronically unable to decide whether to commit properly to a relationship.

Sometimes such people are tagged ‘commitment phobes). They fear being ‘trapped’ and losing, as they see it, their freedom. Fear of commitment might start from a little uncertainty about your relationship to an absolute terror of ‘settling down’.

Fear of commitment: What’s actually behind it?

At the heart of all fear is the dread that something might be lost. So someone who has trouble committing may fear losing options. But every decision we make in life, means losing other options. No matter what you do, there is always another kind of life you could have lived.

Wait there is something more to it.. People who fear committing to a relationship will or have often difficulty committing to other decisions, too. They may have trouble deciding on careers, where to travel on vacation, or even what to eat in a restaurant. So often, a strong relationship pattern will be echoed in other parts of a person’s life. So what does a person who seems desperately fearful of commitment actually want?

What causes fear of Commitment?

There are any numbers of reasons why a person may become afraid to be involved in romantic relationships or other types of commitments. Here are some of the most common (but certainly not all) reasons that people become commitment phobic:

• The person is afraid of losing personal freedom – many people are highly independent, live their lives on their own terms.
• No desire to be with one partner for the rest of his or her life. Knowing that marriage and long-term relationships involve monogamy, they may be hesitant to enter one.
• Inability to trust .
• Not feeling ready.

How to handle commitment-phobia if you really are frightened to settle?

• ·         Name the fear.
• ·         Decide to be more decisive
• ·         Imagine the fear has gone.
• ·         Don’t hesitate to seek professional help.