Great relationships develop not from the absence of conflict but from the way it is resolved, a two-way mature and intelligent approach to resolving conflict is what essential for a healthy relationship, believes Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo.
She suggests the rule of engagement is not to try to avoid fighting but developing a mature attitude to resolve conflicts intelligently. Remember, suppressing dislikes or doubts about your partner are temporary solutions and more than doing any good, suppression can turn love sour in the course of time. If you care about someone, then consider adopting these rules as part of the way you communicate with them when you are trying to express your dislikes or if you are trying to resolve conflicts.
1. While expressing your dislikes, remember yelling is wastage of emotional energy, not a medium to take you seriously.
2. If your partner yells first, remember that there can be multiple factors that can cause your partner to yell. It may be a temporary phase that could have arisen from work stress and confusion. Hence, it’s important that you don't raise your voice so as to prevent a natural escalation of competing interests. You may simply ask your partner that you need time to think and analyse your partner’s arguments, say an overnight to offer your side of say.
3. Focus
on trying to discover what's right, not who is right. Remember nobody can
be 100% perfect, else you will be expecting your partner to be the God. So
don’t waste your energy on thinking how your partner is wrong. Think about
what has happened, try to remove yourself from the situation and
evaluate right and wrong based solely on the actions that
took place.
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