What does "loving ourselves" means?

Check if you really know how to loving yourself - by Relationship Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo


We have heard the phrase “love ourselves” too often but what does loving ourselves actually mean? Do you know really how to love ourselves? Is it different from treating us with buying some goodies or enjoying some activities? Delhi’s eminent relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo answers to these questions here:-

To know more what the term ‘loving ourselves” really mean, let’s visualize some adverse life situations like getting fired from a job, failing to pass an examination, separations, divorce, etc. Then ask yourself how you will perceive in such situation:-

a. You will blame yourself for your failure, partially or fully you will blame your external factors and you will accept that you weren't worth for succeeding in such situation.

b. You will scrutinize the situations and try to understand – how and why you misjudged and misinterpreted and you will accept that mistakes & failures happen to everybody, you are no different and you will put efforts to improve yourself.

Those, who have identified themselves with point ‘b’ are the ones who know how to love themselves,  self-loving does not mean posting too many selfies or buying yourself some goodies, it refers to the capability to treat yourself compassionately and caringly from inside.  


Ways to love yourself

1. First, make sure you always listen within and acknowledge your own feelings.

Many people easily tune into their friends or their love one's feelings yet they have no idea what they feel. A person's inner feelings are like a child; if it has been rejected for long, it will feel rejected, abandoned and unloved by you. Hence try to focus on your feeling and be honest with them.

2. Secondly, be compassionate with your feelings.

Try to judge your feelings positively, instead of telling yourself you are wrong for feeling like this; PRACTICE being kind, gentle, tender, understanding and accepting of your feelings.

3. Open to learning from your feelings

Remember, all feelings are informational. Just as physical pain alerts you to a problem that needs attention, so does emotional pain. Painful feelings are telling you that you are abandoning yourself, or that someone is being unloving to you, or to themselves or to others, or that a situation is not good for you. Compassionately attending to your feelings, learning what they are telling you, and then taking action to rectify the situation, will make you feel loved.

Have a happy read. 



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