Why does married man register on online dating sites and pretend to be single?

Is it all about looking for sex outside marriage or these men are suffering from bad marriages? The answers are more complex says marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo; today she shares reasons why men pretend to be single and search dating sites.

1.       Immaturity: Many men build unreasonable expectations from their marital life. They believe their spouse should meet every sexual and emotional need throughout 24 X 7. In their self-focused way, they do not understand that their wife may be juggling with multiple priorities kids, in-laws, office, home, finances in addition to him and the relationship. When this spouse inevitably fails him (in his view), he feels entitled to seek intimate attention elsewhere.

2.       Insecurity:  many men hold deep down insecurity about themselves, like “I am too fat”, “I am too short”, “I am not physically attractive” etc. Some of these men cultivate believes that flirtation, extramarital sex, lying or manipulating women are signs of power – these are ways to reassure themselves that they are still desirable, worthwhile, and “good enough".

3.       Confusion about love: many men do not understand that in a truly loving relationship, the early attraction is gradually replaced by sweeter feelings of long-term attachment, honesty, commitment and emotional intimacy.

4.       Stupidity: some men think that as long as their partner doesn't find out, he’s not hurting anybody. He doesn't understand that when the significant other almost always know when something is up. He doesn't “get” that his partner will eventually find out what’s been going on, and when that occurs, it won’t be pretty.

5.       Sexual compulsiveness disorder: Compulsive sexual behaviour, otherwise known as sexual addiction, hypersexuality, nymphomania (females), satyriasis (males) and sexual compulsive, refers to the phenomenon in which people cannot manage their sexual behaviour. A person with sexual addiction obsessed with sex or has an abnormally intense sex drive. Their lives are dominated with sex and the thought of sex; so much so that other activities and interactions become seriously affected.