All of us experience negative thoughts from time to time and the way we manage our negative attitudes can make all the difference between winning, gaining love & self-confidence, succeeding in our profession life, vs. fear, defeat and suffering victim-hood.
Sometimes negative attitude towards life slips in our conscience without our notice and by the time we realize it, we may lose too many precious things. Today Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares help us identify some common negative attitudes that make our life unhappy.
Avoid Negative Assumptions
The most common form of holding a negative attitude towards life is to presume negative conclusions from unpleasant situations. One might look at a heavy traffic jam, crowded metro, water logging on or bad roads as automatic negative experiences.
But remember there’s nothing inherently positive or negative about traffic, weather, or a crowded metro. These are circumstances beyond your control and they will not get affected with your negative feelings towards them. Rather chances are better if you address these situations with your positive and intelligent attitude towards life, say by thinking about solutions and sharing with people and with the government.
Hence, as the saying goes, “it is what it is.” It’s the way you choose to relate to your circumstances that makes the experience positive or negative. This choice can instantly make you stronger or weaker, happier or gloomier, empowered or victimized.
Disempowering Beliefs about Difficult People
In every corner of life you may interact or deal with difficult people, sometimes as a strict school teacher, sometimes as a demanding boss or as an introvert colleague. But most of the people find it tempting to believe that difficult people are perpetrators and they are the victimizing you. Such attitudes are reactive and thus self-weakening.
The key to change your disempowering beliefs about difficult people is to shift from being reactive to proactive. Generally people with strong goals, self-believe and self-visions exhibit strong and empowering behaviour or sometimes it may be the case of narcissism, manipulation or negative beliefs.
Whatever the reasons – remember you are not here to change people but to do your job. Instead of wasting your time on thinking or telling your loved ones how bad is your boss or your colleague, , understand the your boss or your colleague’s expectations from you as a person and from your position, in which you’re working. Try to act accordingly and improve your communication.
The Struggle to Forgive Yourself
All of us makes mistakes in life. When you look back, there may be an accompanying sense of self-blame at the blunders made, damage done, or the opportunities missed. You might think of yourself as a “bad” or a “foolish” person and suffer with guilt. But remember it’s our failures that teach us life’s biggest lessons and help to grow, to become careful and alert.
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