When times get tough and
we're distressed, angry or sad, we may think that the best option is to put up
a happy face around our kids in spite of our feelings. Why worry or frighten
them, right? Even our culture and parental tradition (sometimes) has taught us
never to discipline kids in anger and we should talk to our children in a
way that prioritizes their well-being and self-esteem.
Do you know no matter how
hard we try to hide our emotions, kids always understand their parent’s
feelings, if not completely but they can figure out something is wrong. A
recent study of emotional regulation in parent suggested that when a parent
holds back or disguises their negative feelings, there are negative
consequences for the parent-child relationship. A child might build and
or believe that his/her parents hide information from them and there could be a
decrease of trust between the child and parents and that surfaces when the
child reach especially his/her teens.
Secondly, when we pretend to
be happy around our kids to cover up our negative emotions, we can end up
feeling worse about ourselves and if we make ourselves feel even worse when
around our kids, it might negatively affect the way we engage with them.
So what should we do?
First, accept
that your anger adds no value to your life, it’s just of waste of your mental
energy. If you meet with an unpleasant incident or have an unpleasant day at
the office, try to make-up your mind prior entering home. Avoid yourself
getting stress at the workplace by taking short breaks during times of the day
that tend to be hectic. Manage little time at your home just for yourself to
keep quiet and get your body relaxed and do it regularly to avoid your brain
getting drained out.
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