Differences with your partner do not cause problems in a relationship, it is your way of handling these differences that cause or starts the relationship difficulties. When our ego gets in the way, we can easily say or do things that threaten the peace of our relationship and increase the level of relationship stress. Psychologist & Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some important life skills to keep peace in relationships.
1. Start developing being more aware of your role in your relationship: become more observant about your thoughts, emotions, need and reasons for getting angry with your partner. One way to develop self-awareness skills in to ask self-questions like:
a. What do you want from this argument?
b. If you feel irritated or angry then ask yourself your source of anger Is it your ego that your was hurt because your partner didn't listen to you? could it be possible that you are missing to evaluate or understand your partner's point of view and just stuck to the fact that you haven’t been heard from him/her and getting angry? How many times you have yourself listened to your partner's suggestions?
2. Understand your relationship more important than your argument. Arguments with time escalate to a point where you become ready to sacrifice the peace of your relationship so that you can win the argument. Arguing is not an effective way to communicate your point of view, but it is a good way to sabotage the peace of your relationship.
3. Try never respond out of anger. This goes for every relationship if you start losing your temper, excuse yourself immediately for a few minutes, if possible, splash some water on your face so you can calm down and you can control your breathing. Once you have calmed down, remind yourself how much you value your mental peace and peace in your relationship. Self-control is one of those life skills that can take the time to master, but making the effort will save you lots of grief in the long run.
4. Build your own sense of self-worth. Remember you have to first love yourself first before you can truly accept love from someone else. If you suffer from low self-esteem ,you could end up projecting your self-insecurities into your relationships and losing trust on your partner. So develop a strong sense of self-worth which will help you stabilize your relationship and you will experience greater peace and fewer conflicts.