Why Are Breakups So Crushing for Women compare to Men?

From a neurobiological perspective, love is seen similar to addiction, when we fall in love, our brain gets flooded with a host of "feel good" neurochemicals like - adrenaline, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin. These chemicals cause us to feel highly motivated to do things that may seem impossible otherwise, like staying up all night talking or chatting to the person you love on the phone, feeling the deep desperation or the desire to meet your lover, ready to physically harm self for a person whom you know just year or months back.

As our relationship progresses and we begin to settle into our daily life with our partner those neurochemicals settle too. This is ultimately for the best otherwise humans would not be able to progress in other aspects of their life efficiently, if they keep themselves completely submerged into the thoughts and feelings of their partner 24X7 (like in the initial phase).

When a breakup occurs, especially at an advanced stage of the relationship, human brain gets accustomed to the feel-good neurochemicals that their togetherness has generated over the time. Hence the brain pressures the person to seek the physical presence of the lover so it can again generate the feel-good neurochemicals. In human behavior this process is reflected by a sudden shot of happy memories and realizing that he/she is no longer with us.

So who feels the pain more Men or Women?

According to the researchers from Binghamton University and University College London, Women tend to feel the emotional pain associated with a breakup more acutely than men, but men take longer to "get over" their former lover.

Although the research found that women tend to feel the physical and emotional pain associated with a breakup more acutely than men dof , they also found that both the sexes reported feelings, different breakup-related emotions in about the same proportions. For example, both men & women reported anger and depression, troubled sleep , struggle with their weight or experience panic attacks after a breakup.

So, why women get more affected by breakups than men? Well, from a scientific standpoint, women typically have more at stake in relationships than men do. Women are evolved to invest far more in a relationship than a man. A brief romantic encounter could lead to nine months of pregnancy followed by many years of lactation for a woman while the man may leave the scene' literally minutes after the encounter with no further biological investment. This knowledge is rooted in a woman’s brain from the stone age .

The study also shows that men may have a different set of emotional scars following a breakup. The man is likely to feel the loss deeply and for a very long period of time as it 'sinks in' that he must 'start competing' all over again to replace what he has lost — or, worse still, comes to the realization that the loss is irreplaceable.

By Shivani Misri Sadhoo, eminent marriage counselor in Delhi