Think of all the couples you know that have kids. Now think of those couples who are still madly in love! The ones that still act like newlyweds even though they have one or couple of little ones in tow. What are they doing differently? What’s their secret? Marriage Counsellorand Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some important tips to keep the romance alive after having kids.
Finding the Time for a Date Night
One thing all successful couples do after having kids is finding time for a date night. No matter how much struggle and fight they have to put, but happy and romantic couples make sure they get time to spend quality with time together. During a date night, the couples spend an evening or night watching a romantic movie or reading a romantic book together that they both love. They light the room romantically with essence candles and preparing a lovely dinner.
Now the question is how to find time for a date night, here are some tips:-
a. Circle in your calendars the weekend you both plan to have a date night. Arrange your professional and personal work prior, so you can keep yourself mentally free for the date.
b. Put your kids early to sleep on the date day or you can send them to your parents house.
c. Plan your date ahead of time and discuss with your partner how you want to spend the date.
Spoil Your Spouse, Not Your Kids
If you are always putting your children before your husband, think again. You might perceive that your husband is a grown man who can take care of himself and your children are small and need you. But do you know what kids need the most? They need a happy home. And happy couples create happy homes. When you’re working together to be a better husband and a wife – you will be better parents.
Make sure you transition from “mom mode” to “self-mode”
One of the best efforts towards happy marriage is being consistent and firm about bedtime. Make sure your kids goes to their bed on time, say at 9 PM and once they are in bed. No more drag your mom mode rather you take a healthy break to transition from “mom mode” to “self-mode.”
By healthy break, I mean do activities that can help you to relax and get rejuvenated in a short period of time, like taking a warm water bath, grooming your nails, hair etc. If you refresh and relax prior going to bed, then the chances are you will love to spend some cosy time with your husband before sleeping.
Make Love to Stay in Love
Making love is one of the best ways to stay in love. Remember intimacy is like the glue in a marriage, and it’s worth any time and effort that it takes to improve it. If you’re struggling in this area, communicate with your spouse and let him know that you want to work on it together. Maybe that means you should arrange a separate bed for your child, switch off your smartphone 10 min prior going to bed, change the lighting of your bedroom -whatever it takes to make it important to you as making love is important to your marriage.