Do You Still Date? – Why is Dating important after marriage is essential?

When Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo asks couples, when was the last time they have had a date? The common answer she receives is, “we are already married, why should we date” or they refer their dating activity as family outings or they say we do not time for ourselves. 

First of all, every married couple must understand that dating is an essential process to rejuvenate marital relationship in today’s fast-moving and stressful life. Secondly, couples must understand that

·  A date is not going to McDonald’s with the children in a mall.

·  Kids are not a part of date after marriage.

·  Shopping in the departmental store and buying home essentials or grocery is not dating.

Going out with your spouse SOLELY to spend quality time together and nothing else, this concept today is a highly ignored practice in Indian society. Generally, Indian married couples date only in the first 1 or 2 years of their marriage, till they don’t have kids.

Many couples may argue that they have not witnessed their parents to date and still their parents are enjoying a wonderful marital life. This is true because 30 years back, life was not bombarded with 24x7 internet, social media updates, 500plus TV channels, western job culture. Three to four decades back , couples were more connected with each than to their smartphones and internet.

Hence Marriage counsellor Shivani suggests every couple should dedicatedly work out dating , at least once in a month because:-

1. Dating brings a positive experience that helps couples to re-connect or improves their connection with each other again.

2. Dating creates the right environment for rekindling the romance. Passion in a marriage is very important. Of course, it is not the only thing that's important. But passion is certainly an area in a marriage that needs to be healthy and growing. And any lack of passion should never be excused as something that passes after you’re married for a few years.

3.  Dating is good for your children. Generally, couples make their life revolve around their kids, especially the wife. The common reasoning is that your child is too small, he/she needs care and attention than your grownup husband. But too many people fail to realize that the best gift you can ever give your children is a happy home. And one of most important component of a happy home is healthy and a strong marriage. So even if the children suffer some separation anxiety for a few hours, when you go out on dates, it will be good because they will get a more happy, satisfied and understanding parents rather than tired and exhausted ones.