You’ve seen your grandparents and perhaps your parents and uncles who have turned into adorable elderly couples and even after three to four decades of their married life, they feel happy, comfortable and content when they hold each other’s hand. It seems that they’ve spent their entire life in synchronization.
In today’s era of self-priorities, self-goals and competitive career growth conditions, marital harmony seems more a challenging goal in our generation (who were born in the last 3-4 decade) than ever. We don’t realize that our grandparents and parents, perhaps have faced more uncertainty in their lives and experienced less convenience than today. Couples two generations back have gone through- countries partition, economic poverty, scarcity of basic food like milk, feminine hygiene stuff much more and still most of them stayed together, never seems to have a problem in their marital life.
Today Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some of the secrets that she has witnessed and learned from older couples that helped them to build a solid marital foundation. These are:-
Marriage comes first.
Any lifelong couple will tell you that their spouse and children come before anything else, ever before their own life. That’s the foundation to build a happy home and happy family upon, continuous dedication towards your spouse, children, and rest of the family members, let our grandparents stand any test of life.
We too can learn and cultivate the same in our life, no matter what comes in own the way - deadlines at work, night out with friends, promotion etc– if we prioritize our marriage and family, we can cultivate an atmosphere of trust and mutual respect, which is an invaluable quality in any marriage.
Argue with a purpose rather than for the sake of an argument.
It’s not that our grandparents never had arguments, but most of these arguments were constructive. In today’s generation, we rarely argue over constructive topics, for example, he always leaves his wet towel on the bed, brings muddy shoes on the carpet, she is always late and the list could go on and on. Instead of yelling and complaining without any kind of resolution, argue with the intent of finding a solution.
Constructive arguing that our grandparents did involve asking questions, understanding your spouse’s feelings, and presenting some kind of a solution. Those arguments ended with an action. Try and plan to correct the problem, so that the topic doesn’t come up again in the same negative light.
They used to trust and forgiveness daily
Our grandparents had trust and forgiveness in their relationship, an essential quality that silence arguments and revitalizes feelings of love and contentment. Couples who are willing to mutually learn to trust and forgive each other are the ones that will survive the ordeal.
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