Do you know a lot of scientific research in past has suggested that a person’s self-absorption could be the root cause of his/her psychological issues!
Eminnet Relationship & Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo explains, by definition, self-absorption is identified as a person’s excessive preoccupation with self to the point where he/she excludes the outside world. As generally understood, the concept is pretty much synonymous with one being self-preoccupied, self-centered, and/or self-obsessed. Though loving self is a healthy approach in life but when it is overdone, so much so that the person stops showing much concern about anyone or anything outside their (narrow) self-interest, puts very little effort to understand other's thoughts and feelings – that's when the problem starts.
What are the dangers of Excessive Self-Absorption?
Excessive self-absorption is like being trapped inside a prison. It prevents people from getting the most out of life. It can lead to dangers such as:
a. The more people are focused on their problems, the more they tend to suffer. Thinking about personal difficulties excessively is not beneficial in any way. Those individuals who are less self-absorbed tend to be a lot happier.
b. Excessive self-absorption is an unattractive character trait. It can be hard for people who are so focused on themselves to make genuine friendships. It can also make it difficult for people to establish romantic relationships if they appear too needy.
c. It can be really difficult for friends because it may feel like their own needs are always being ignored. If people are overly self-absorbed, they do not really care about other people’s feelings and perspective. It is all about me, me, me.
d. Those individuals who are self-absorbed are more prone to becoming addicted to alcohol or drugs. This obsession with self is one of the characteristics of the addictive personality.
How to Reduce the Obsession with Self? There are different ways that people can combat self-obsession such as:
a. Helping other people is probably the most effective way of reducing the obsession with self. By focusing on other people’s problems, the individual is able to see beyond their own narrow concerns.
b. Maintaining a gratitude journal where they keep track of all the good things in life. This will discourage people from becoming overly obsessed with their day to day problems.
c. Meditation may seem to be a selfish activity to those who have never practiced it but it is quite the opposite. Loving-kindness meditation can greatly increase the amount of compassion that the individual feels for other people. Meditation techniques such as mindfulness are wonderful at moving people away from the obsession with self.
d. People can train themselves to think more about other people. It becomes a habit and eventually, the individual will be more outwardly focused without even trying. Most spiritual paths have a move away with self-obsession as a primary goal.
e. Empathy is the ability to understand how the other person is feeling. It is possible to develop more empathy by just practicing it
f. Learning to listen is a vital skill for anyone who wants to reduce their focus on self. This means being fully attentive when the other person is speaking. A good idea is to silently count to ten after the other person has stopped talking before giving a reply. Narcissists are too busy thinking about what they want to say that they rarely listen to the other person.
g. It is sometimes claimed that you have to fake it to make it. Deliberately paying other people compliments can be beneficial. Looking for something nice to say about other people can become an attractive habit.
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