How Bad Divorce of Parents Really Impacts Children?

Almost every couple at some point in their life comes close to a point of fighting, where they may for a moment, start talking and thinking separation. Later depending on their relationship health, emotional & mental setup, they introspect and accept that life would be much more painful for them and especially for their kids if they decide to part ways.

In middle & later stages of marital life, a lot of couples become worried about the impact that their child may face, if their relationship fails and they get separated. So how bad divorce of parents can really impact kids? Today Relationship & Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, shares her view on this topic.

The impact of divorce on children till age 8:

Research suggests that the younger a child is, the intense the impact of divorce will have on the child. Children under the age of 8 generally have difficulty to make sense of a divorce. They find it very difficult to adjust to the many changes that come with their parent’s divorce. Changes in living situations, only having the support of one parent at a time, and the changes to daily routines can be very disruptive for children.

A study published by American Sociological Review found that divorce leads to setbacks in children's academic progress. Children from divorced families tend to have more difficulty with social skills. They were more likely to report feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and sadness and were more prone to low self-esteem when compared to children of married parents.

Young children often exhibit regressive behaviour during and after a divorce.  The stress of a divorce can lead to kids starting to wet the bed or it can make older kids revert to thumb-sucking. Young children also tend to become more dependent on their parents as they desperately try to look for reassurance that they are still loved.

Impact of divorce on teenagers

While younger children often become more dependent during a divorce, teenagers often become more independent and rebellious as a result of divorce. They might misbehave in an attempt to gain attention or out of anger and frustration from their situation. Aggression might become a problem.

While younger children might blame themselves for the divorce, older children tend to blame one or both the parents. Adolescents often look for a reason and want to know that it is because my dad had an affair, my parents separated” rather than saying, “I don’t know what happened.”

Divorce is never easy for anyone involved. It is an emotionally challenging psychological journey for both parents and children to undergo. But in the end, the most important thing to remember is the vulnerability of your children. Therefore, your main job as the parent is to help your children adjust successfully, to be there for them, and to make sure they know they are loved.