Premarital counseling is a specialized therapy that targets strengthening of long-term relationship base before the couples enter the long-term commitment, i.e. marriage. Premarital counseling is provided by an expert marriage counselor or therapist who guides & coaches couples (Based on their relationship chemistry and individual personalities) how to improve their internal communication, coaches them how to sort out their differences that may come in future and much more.
Today Delhi's eminent marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares the real benefits of premarital counseling and tells us why it’s necessary for modern generation couples who are planning to get married.
1. Premarital counseling reduces the chances of divorce:
Both social and psychological surveys, that has been conducted in the last few decades, across the globe has suggested that premarital counseling reduces the chances of divorce by 35%-40%. Not only that, it has been found that couples who have gone through premarital counseling, find their relationship more content, were able to resolve conflicts much more efficiently and effectively than others.
2. Pre-marriage counselling prepares couples to deal with marital stress and to avoid possible post-marital depression:
Unlike the past, when most children were taught obedience, self-denial and were told that husband is equal to God. Today’s generation get the exposure of world's best education, they get encouraged to express their thoughts, and they get encouraged to pursue their career and excel in the profession.
One side effect of this social development and gender quality is that the generations that still hold the old mindset of 50’s era, they find difficulty in adjusting with today's generation. Hence a lot of grooms in today’s marriages suffer from stress and emotional trauma they get suppression, psychological fights to gain superiority, instead of love from the confused and insecure in-laws, who face sudden generation gap shock and find it difficult to accept their daughter in law who belongs to today’s generation.
Through couples therapy, premarital counseling can prevent post-marital depression by bringing the girl’s awareness about these new identities (daughter in law, sister in law) that she will bear after marriage.
Premarital Counselling also enables couples to understand their and their spouse’s expectations, needs, attitudes and can further help them to clear potential road blocks. This could be done with the help of skill development during individual or couples therapy.
3. Premarital counseling can prevent commitment fear if either of the partners knowingly or unknowingly suffer.
Sometimes it is a smooth relationship ride till the partners are asked to commit to a marriage. Post that things do not look about the same and a lot of times, it been found that either one or both the partners, knowingly or unknowingly suffer from a fear of commitment, which they may not be able to express. This leads to anxiety, confusion, shame or guilt and /or which could hamper patterns of communication. One might either show aggression or withdrawal. In this situation, premarital counseling can help couples accept and confront their fears as well as validate them. It would further help couples to slow things down and follow a process of committing to marriage, which is a lifetime institution.
4. Pre-marriage counseling helps couples improve communication patterns:
Communication as a tool is a significant one in enhancing the overall happiness of your married life. It is a core relationship skill and aids in conflict resolution. When a couple is not efficiently able to communicate with each other, the trust between them breaks down and they start losing hope in their marriage.
As a result, partners stops caring for each other. Hence it is important that a couple is able to express themselves to each other in a constructive manner consistently and get aware of not to use aggressive patterns of communication, sarcasm etc.
Communication helps in emotional coping and trust building amongst couples and that makes communication the most important aspect of a healthy marriage. Premarital counseling helps couples to develop good communication skills with each other. It teaches couples that the correct way of argument is to do it productively. It also teaches couples to listen and understand the other person’s needs.
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