Before a man or woman chooses whether or not to commit to you, you’ll need to move through a couple of key dating stages with him or her. Do you know what they are?
According to Relationship and Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, by mapping out the stages of dating, you can know what to expect and anticipate the challenges ahead. Here they are:
Stage 1 of Courtship
At an early stage of dating, people generally get dominated by observation, emotions and physical attraction. You observe and identify facts about the other person, sometimes try to judge him/her and when things look as per your expectations, your emotion starts to work. Like your emotional side starts to find that you have a lot in common, you feel your views of the world are same, and that you his/her kind of humour or like the same music.
In the first or in second date if you find your chemistry is not matching with the other person, then simply move out. However, there could be two more outcomes from the early dates:
First, you may find him/her something special but still unsure about the person or may not feel sexually attracted. This could possibly be due to facts like – you may not have got an opportunity to explore various sides of his/her personality. There could be another possibility that you may find some resemblance to the person that reminds you of your ex and who soured your heart.
In all these cases, it’s advisable to give another chance and go for next date, try to find out more about the person, understand every human has both positive and negative aspects and at the same time, remember a lot of people pretend something that they are not and deliberately hide negative things. In all, give another chance but be cautious and observant (don’t express or overtly express else the other person may interpret you as finicky)
Secondly, you find everything to be wonderful, to be attractive and find him/her irresistible and you wait eagerly for the next date. In such situation, if you express your desire or nag the person to meet you again as early as possible (especially for Women) chances are high – either you will rush into your relationship (become physical, share everything between each other) and there might not much excitement left to experience after marriage or you may wave off the person (if he/she is not on the same emotional and desirable page with you).
Stage 2: The Uncommitted Relationship
That's an “in-between” stage. If you’re both enjoying your time together, he/she treats you well, and you’re feeling good about the relationship in general, resist the urge to think too far ahead.
The trick in this stage is to take the pressure off the future and enjoy getting to know him/her, while also being clear that you are evaluating your future together: “I’m happy with you and I want to keep dating and my future is important to me, too. So let’s see how we feel about things over the next few weeks or months (set a time here you feel comfortable with), and we’ll decide if there’s something more serious that we both want to pursue.”
When you say this to a guy, there’s an unconscious button that’s pushed in his mind that tells him that you are a respectable and desirable woman who has the ability and the strength to pick and choose what happens in your life and he better rise up to the occasion.
Stage 3: The Committed Relationship
This is the last chance to get everything on the table, to feel safe and secure and honest. The challenge is once again to have courage; the time is now to step up. Relationships never change, people change over time. In order to navigate the course, you need to fill in, not fall in, into the emotional potholes that come along the way. Change can be a challenge, but change is your life telling you that you to outgrown old ways. By knowing what changes you may expect, you need to keep a clear head and perspective. And by being honest with yourself and your partner, you can both successfully move forward.
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