How to Overcome Social Anxiety & Shyness?

Lot of time we face professional and educational setbacks because we miss conveying our ideas and messages effectively to a group or a crowd. Even though we got the best of ideas & information, we miss to speak effectively and put a positive impact on the listeners.

The problem that a lot of people face (especially youngsters) while speaking publicly, their shyness (sometimes inaccurately is called "social phobia"). And this drawback sometimes pulls them back in their educational and career growth like –failing job interviews, losing top management trust, losing venture capitalists, financers etc.  

According to Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shyness has its roots in self-consciousness and usually dissipates as people mature and become more experienced. However, for some, it can 'stick', almost as if it has become a 'habit'and then persistent actions are required to overcome it.

Today Counsellor Shivani shares some important tips on how to overcome shyness in life that would help people to develop good public speaking and social skills.

1. Right planning

Shyness generally involves fear of how others will perceive the person as and it is usually evaluated in a negative way, and that causes the person to spend a good deal of thought on how to not do something wrong, instead of on how to do something right.

Hence prior to an important public appearance, spend more time thinking about what you could do to make the situation a success rather than focusing on failure possibilities.

2. Practice Listening to Others

The great psychologist Alfred Adler, once wrote, “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life.”

Hence to overcome shyness, practice in day to day life to take your focus off yourself. Instead, focus on being curious about others. Who are they and why are they there? What are their interests and hobbies? This will give the person something different to focus on and helps them to generate conversations. Everyone’s got a story to tell. Find out what it is, then sit back and listen. People love to talk about themselves. The way to be the most interesting person in the room is to find others interesting.

3. Soften your inner dialogue.

Shy people are often highly critical of themselves and their inner talking can be very harsh and include things they would never say to other people. When a person judges them harshly, they are more likely to assume that others will judge them in the same way. This inner critical talking robs a person’s self-esteem and pushes them in shyness.

The best way to defeat the critic is to start noticing the good things about ourselves and learn to "talk back" to our inner critic. When the critic starts to blame you for being fearful, remember that there is not a single person who enjoys rejection, yet somehow we all manage to survive it.

When your inner critic starts to tell you that no one will ever like you, remind yourself that you liking you is what matters the most. By learning to talk to yourself in a kinder gentler way, social situations won’t hold as much power to hurt you because you won’t be punishing yourself.