How to Love Ourselves?

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.

Generally, we perceive self-love through actions like buying ourselves a special gift, going to a spa, spending a particular time just for ourselves etc. But these actions do not derive particularly from self-love emotions rather you can say these actions are essential for self-attention in today’s hectic life.

Self-love has a deeper aspect, it refers to the relationship quality that one has with himself/herself, it refers to winning the struggle to accept, embrace and love ourselves, with all our imperfections.  To be 100% honest about who we are, how we feel and what we need. To stop disgracing ourselves for everything we aren’t, and start giving ourselves credit for everything we are.  And to be aware that not everyone we love will agree with us at every step of the way, and to be OK with it.

So the question is how to love ourselves? Relationship and Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo today shares a few secrets of how to love ourselves.

1.  Begin your day with love and not by technology

Remind yourself of your worthiness before getting out of bed. Instead of following your daily instinct of checking mobile phone updates first thing in the morning, go to your balcony, sit and observe the beautiful nature. Be thankful to nature for giving you the opportunity to see this wonder. Such a healthy act helps you become more mindful.

2. Start telling yourself what you love about yourself

In your own life, it’s important to know how spectacular you are.  You really have to look in the mirror and be kind.  Because what we see in the mirror is often what we see in the world.  Our disappointment in others often reflects our disappointment in ourselves.  Our acceptance of others often reflects our acceptance of ourselves.  Our ability to see potential in others often reflects our ability to see potential in ourselves.  Our patience with others often reflects our patience with ourselves. 

3.   Self-kindness

Treat yourself kindly, rather than harshly. Extending the same care and support to yourself that you would have offered to a good friend or loved one.

4.   Focus less on winning the approval of others

Remind yourself that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.  And you don’t have to seek people's permission to do it differently either.  Your time on this planet is precious.  As the saying goes, “What you do today is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.”  Don’t wait around for someone else to give you permission to live.

5.  Shutting out to others

Sometimes we try to love ourselves without much regard for others. Indifference to other’s suffering is a major culprit in receiving love. We need to care about the world too and not pretend as if we can be happy only by ourselves.