Are you Sure You Don’t Having a Controlling Personality? – Beware it might be robbing you with many wonderful gifts

Do you feel betrayed when others don’t do what you want? Do you wrestle with trusting people? Have a history of combative relationships? If you answered yes, it’s possible you have a controlling personality and you may be losing a lot of beautiful aspects of your relationships.

Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo today shares what a controlling personality means and how it works and how it impacts your relationship health.

Counsellor Shivani shares that if you wish to control others is driven by high levels of internal anxiety. Rather than addressing those deep-seated fears at their source, controlling people project them onto their relationships, generating emotional pandemonium and instability by making others responsible for their discomfort.

Controlling personality often reasons to themselves that if they can control they partner, it will make their relationship more secure. They think it will prevent their partner from leaving them or cheating on them with someone else. This is faulty thinking.

The problem is that controlling behaviour destroys a relationship in all ways which the controller probably never envisions. Here are 3 hidden ways a relationship is slowly eroded by controlling the behaviour of a partner.

1. Control Involves Criticism: with the tendency to control comes the tendency to criticise others for things that are not happening as your own standards or expectations. And nothing kills intimacy in a relationship quicker than criticism. Most relationship counsellors across the world put criticism amongst partners as no 1 destroyer of relationship.

 Remember Criticism is a terrible way to get a positive behaviour change in a person. Any short-term gain will offset by a slow build-up of resentment.

 2. Build-Up Of Resentment: No matter how easy going or supplicating the other person in a relationship might be, if he or she is constantly being bossed around by their partner, they will slowly but surely build up resentment towards them. Simmering resentment also destroys relationships especially close into intimate ones.

So while the controller might feel secure if they are controlling their partner, they are often actually shooting themselves in the foot without realising and it actually weakens the relationship.

3.  Annihilation of Respect: If someone is controlling you, it’s difficult for you to have respect for that person. Likewise, if someone is easily controllable, it is difficult for them to respect the person. Respect is the key to a relationship. If one partner (or both) do not respect the other, the relationship will struggle to survive.