How To React to a Child’s Whining?

When a child whines, most young parents can relate it too frustrating, annoying and socially embarrassing. Parents often lose their temper and turn helpless when their child whines for reasons that they could not understand. So the question is how parents should react to their child’s whining? – does it require strict reaction, ignorance or compassion?

According to Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a child who has a habit of whining cannot be termed spoiled. Whining is often the only way that young kids can express themselves when they're tired, cranky, hungry, uncomfortable, or just don't want to do something. Although 3- and 4-year-olds' language skills are rapidly improving, they still don't have the vocabulary to describe all of these feelings.

Today Counsellor Shivani shares 3 important tips on how to effectively reach to child’s whining.

1.      Remember the child needs your help

The first thing parents should remember that whining as an urgent request for a resource or comfort. Generally, kids whine more when they travel and this happens because of travel stress, hunger, thirst, fatigue, tiredness, or overwhelmed (often by a change in routine). Hence instead of commanding the child to stop whining parents should assure they get a nap, water or milk, a snack, a rest, a diaper change etc. 

2.      Remember the child may need more connection or positivity

Many of child psychological studies have suggested that sometimes whining is a signal that a child needs more connection with their parents. When a kid is especially whiny, they may need some focused one-on-one attention of their parents, such as reading, cooking a meal, or playing together.

Kids may also need parents to "turn towards" them more often when they express a "bid" for emotional connection. When a child says, “Will you play with me,” a parent can “turn towards ” the child by saying, “Yes, let’s play! I love playing with you!” and make time for it. 

Research also suggests that kids whine more when the family environment is negative or conflicting. In one study, when mothers showed more negativity, kids argued and fought more; and when fathers showed more negativity, kids whined and cried more.

HENCE: When your child whines, look at your stress level, emotionality, quality time with your kids, and overall family environment. Invest a bit more time in connection.

3. Kids may whine because they need to express feelings

Remember whining is simply a way for young children to express sadness or disappointment. Many eminent child psychologists across the globe suggest that parents should "accept, acknowledge, and support" kids and their emotions instead of "correcting, scolding, or controlling" them. The more we welcome our children’s displeasure, the happier everyone in our household will be.

Hence remind yourself that whining can be a normal expression of human feelings, which can be best met with kindness and compassion.