Couples almost always experience significant relationship stress upon becoming new parents. With limited sleep, changes in work schedules (and limited parental leave), and the huge responsibility of caring for a vulnerable little baby, many couples find themselves stressed and feeling disconnected.
Compare to the past, today’s new parents face far more complex and difficult relationship problems due to fast lifestyles, nuclear family structure and demanding financial challenges.
According to Delhi’s eminent Marriage and Relationship Counsellor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo identifying these common relationship challenges and knowing how to handle them is the first line of defense to safeguard the romance in your relationship. Hence today she shares some of the common relationship challenges and ways to overcome them when they become new parents.
Challenge 1: After the kid, there is no time for each other
Prior to deciding to have a baby, couples must understand that a small, beautiful and a fragile life would take an extensive time and attention of his/her mom and dad. Hence as a new parent, a couple should accept that maintaining the passion that binds the couple together during the initial phases of relationship would be difficult to achieve now because both of their focus would primarily be on the baby (especially of mom’s).
At the initial phase of parenthood, relationship and emotional exchange may not come naturally (like earlier times) but it would now require understanding, patience, dedication, and love to achieve it back.
Man must understand that after becoming a dad, his focus must shift from fulfilling self-priorities out of his relationship, to contributing to the needs of the baby’s and mother. Plus he must appreciate and understand the tremendous pain and effort his wife is putting on the baby. Research indicates couples who nurture their friendships with one another to maintain greater marital satisfaction during this phase.
Challenge 2: Sleep deprivation
Lack of sleep is one of the greatest challenges new parents face. Irritable and cranky, exhausted moms and dads have little left over for one another.
Remember that desperate times need daring measures — if sleep deprivation is pushing the couples to the edges then they should do the task planning. Explore how they can distribute household and kid’s work in such a way that each of them can get optimum sleep. For example, the breastfeeding mothers won’t have much choice as she has to feed the child at intervals. Hence when the child sleeps the husband can check that the mother too gets an uninterrupted sleep during that time by taking care of other household tasks that normally the wife does.
Challenge 3: No sex
The truth about a new baby is that both the partners hardly get any time to sleep and they have the time or opportunity to have sex. They are always too exhausted and tired, sometimes suffering physical pain too (if there is a surgical delivery procedure).
Remember during such a relationship phase, maintaining intimacy is most crucial for couples to maintain a connection. A couple should try to find ways to express intimacy outside the bedroom they should try to make time for plenty of cuddling and loving touching, and communicate their feelings about the lack of sexual intimacy. Just admitting that something has changed can sometimes be enough to acknowledge the importance of sex — and create a sense of trust that you will get some of the sizzle back.
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