How to Deal With a Spouse Who Constantly Criticizes You?

Perhaps among all bad or damaging behaviours criticism is one of the most toxic behaviours that rapidly break down intimacy and build up walls in a relationship.

Nobody likes to be criticized especially if it’s their life partner who has been critical and insensitive towards them. In a marriage partner who gets frequent criticism gets easily disheartened to be treated this way when they are giving their best to make a contribution and add worth to their relationship but they get criticized instead of valued.

So what causes a person to criticize another person?

People who commonly criticize others, generally are “control fanatics” they build a habit or analyse every little thing you do; it looks like they consider their spiritual gift is to point out what’s incorrect with you at every given time.

Control fanatics care more about certain things than anyone else does, and they won’t quit pushing and nagging until they get their way. They are persuaded that things like daily tasks should be done a certain way and that their way is the correct way to accomplish those things. They have more energy for these things than most people, and they’re going to make sure you know it too.

Today renowned marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 4 strategies on how to deal with a spouse who constantly criticizes you:

1. Be Conscious of Your Choices and of How You Respond:

Our most usual responses involve fight and flight. To fight is to plainly provoke an argument by, say, launching a barb spike at your spouse. Flight is separating, whether by physically leaving the room, or dragging away emotionally. Both responses only serve to extend the tension between couples.

A better choice is to adopt a method of acknowledging the judgment of your spouse while remaining unbiased yourself. It shows you are listening to other people while taking time to cool down before tackling the criticism.

               

2. Take a Step Back From Your Immediate Standpoints:

Well, it’s difficult to split from strong emotions, especially the negative ones. But speaking or proceeding out from a position of hurt will probably only keep you both engaged in a distressing moment instead of aiding each other to move on.

3. Think Fairly About Each Criticism Your Spouse Passes:

Yet again, this is puzzling to do just like the comment attacks. But at some point contemplate if the assessment is justified at all. Fairly evaluate the situation and your part in it. Ask yourself whether you're doing anything at all, deliberately or not, that might annoy your mate or make him or her feel insulted