Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist - By Relationship Counselor Shivani Sadhoo


The narcissism is a personality disorder where a person builds an exaggerated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. A narcissist believes that they're exceptional and they have little regard for other people's feelings. However, behind this mask of ultra-confidence, lies a weak self-esteem and a vulnerable to the slightest criticism personality. 
One of the aspects of a narcissist person is they often have a sixth sense about winning the heart of a partner at the same time they lack the ability to maintain a normal relationship over the long term. They can be extremely attractive and endearing in the earliest stages of a relationship and in later stages of relationship they can turn suppressive and abusive.
Romantic involvement with a narcissist can damage your self-esteem, and it may also put you in an extremely difficult/painful relationship and marriage. Remember you, as a separate person with unique thoughts, feelings, and needs, do not exist for them. Narcissists are too preoccupied with themselves. So, before you involve yourself with a narcissist person identify if the person you are dating is a narcissist or not.
Renowned relationship and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 7 such strategies which state how prominently you can identify the person you are dating is a narcissist. They are given below:

 
1. Always Loves To Talk About Self:
One of the simplest ways to identify a possible narcissist is by listening to the way he or she talks. A pathological narcissist loves to talk about himself or herself, often in overstated and magnified terms. The person is also someone who’s likely to dominate a conversation. Average conversational topics for narcissists include self-accomplishments and achievements exciting and envy-worthy activities, too much focus on personal issues and concerns, enormous focus on looks and materialism, and putting others down to prove one’s own superiority.

2. Lack of Dependability and Follow Through:
One more way to spot a narcissist is to measure his or her actions against the words. Many narcissists lack dependability and follow through. This can vary from regularly breaking appointments, to habitually not keeping on promises and agreements. The lack of dependability can be emotional as well being there for you briefly and gone the next. When you observe a pattern of inconsistency between what your partner says, versus what she or he actually does, indicates you may be dealing with a narcissist.

3. Immediate Gratification:
A few narcissists, being highly self-centric and self-engrossed, expect immediate gratification to fulfill their requirements. This may vary from provoking you to answer their texts or calls immediately, to compel you to do things their way (socially, interpersonally, and sexually). A fast way to detect a possible narcissist is to gently say “no,” or “let me think about it” to a request you’re not convenient with, and see how your date reacts. If she or he tries hard to convince you and wouldn’t let up, or shows signs of impatience, frustration, or anger (like a moody child), take note.

4. Captivating And Romantic-But With A Trick:
A lot of narcissists can come across as alluring and attractive, particularly during the initial stages of a relationship, when they’re trying to win you over. Like an expert salesman, they use magnetism to get your attention, flattery to make you feel special, enticement (flirting, gifts, dinners, movies etc.) to lift you off your feet, and convince to get you to give them what they want.
Though there’s absolutely nothing wrong inherently with being captivating, romantic, and a good lover, the narcissist masters these traits in order to use others. He or she is not really interested in you, but only what they want to extract from you (often to fulfill an inner void due to the inability to create true intimacy).

5. Entitlement:
Narcissists generally expect favored treatment from others. They expect people to cater to their needs, without being considerate in return. In their psyche, the world revolves around them. For example, pay attention to how your date treats service people, such as a waiter, and other support staff. If he or she talks to them around like as he or she is the king or queen, or harps on minor service flaws, be aware. At a certain moment, your date may start to exercise similar entitlement towards you.

6. Manipulation: Using Others To Enhance Self:
Many narcissists will use his or her, romantic partner, to meet absurd self-serving needs, fulfill suppressed ambitions, or cover up self-perceived shortcomings and flaws.

7. Disobeying Rules:

Narcissist frequently enjoys doing away with violating rules and social norms, such as breaking of the queue, stealing office supplies, breaking several appointments, or disobeying traffic rules. They feel proud by not following the rules and regulations.

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