5 Tips for Effective Communication Between Couples

Learning to communicate effectively with your partner is one of the finest things you can do for your relationship. Effective communication between partners makes it far easier to understand each other and make sure each person’s needs are heard, validated, and acted upon. Good communication also helps to defuse fights and gives you both a mature, a useful framework for dealing with any complexities that arise.

There is a lot of information out there to help you learn to communicate better as a couple. If you have the inclination, it is well worth investing some time in reading books, digging deeper into a blog, or even going up for some couple’s therapy sessions if communication is becoming a real concern in your relationship.

In this article, renowned marriage counselor, relationship expert and psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 5 tips for effective communication between couples.

Own your Feelings

It is very easy to get angry at your partner for what you think as their flaws, but effective communication always begins with owning your feelings. Be true to yourself about what you feel, and why. Look for underlying causes that might be making you feel more annoyed than usual. Take ownership for your feelings and ask what you can do to help yourself get over them, instead of putting the sole responsibility on your partner.

Switch Off Sometimes

You will be surprised how much better your communication gets if you just switch your phone and laptops off from time to time. Try setting aside one night or evening a week where you both shut your gadgets off, and just concentrate on being together.

Set Aside Time to Talk

When you know that both need to talk, set aside time for this. Select a time when you know you would not be disturbed, and keep in mind to check in with your partner about whether this is a good time to talk. Give each other your undivided attention instead of compressing in important talks during dinner or while driving to the nearby store.

Be Kind

A little bit of kindness goes a long way in a relationship. If things are worrisome, do not fight fire with fire. Instead, look for chances to speak kindly to your partner. Try saying them the things you love and appreciate about them, and thanking them for the little things they do on a regular basis.

Take Turns Stating Your Feelings

Even twenty minutes spent taking turns to express your feelings can do wonders for your communication. Again, you will need to find some real uninterrupted time and make sure you will not be disturbed. Have a timer and allow each person to talk for a certain period without obstructions. Listen carefully, to what they say and follow up with few questions to help clarify if you need to, then ask them to do the same for you.

Learn To Negotiate

The skill of negotiation is the most important aspect of any relationship. You are not competing with each other. You are one team, and for a team to march forward, both partners need to compromise sometimes. Of course, there will be certain things you need that you really cannot bend upon, and that is fine. But there are several things that you could let go, or learn to compromise on. Always give an effort to put the good of your relationship above being right.

Even a Note or Text Matters

Part of good communication is simply letting your partner know that they are on your mind and that you care about them. Text them to find out how their day is going, and let them know that they were on your mind. You can even try the old school and leave them a note.