If you are going to a date or are married to an introvert and stay in a happy relationship, there are certain things you must know. Because introverts are greatly misunderstood, creatures.
It is very difficult for extroverts to accept that introverts can be completely content on the sidelines that they often think they are stand-offish, bored and rude. So often they try to bring introverts out of their shells. They have good intentions. But it is completely wrong.
If your partner is introvert and you are an extrovert then, you need to learn a lot of things to make the relationship work and blossom.
Renowned relationship expert, marriage counselor and psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares her views on things to know if you are an extrovert and having a partner who is an introvert.
They Are Not Bored Or Boring
Socialization is happening. And everything is lively and joyful. But over in the edge sits your beloved introvert, just sort of hanging back and watching. Maybe they look disinterested or bored. Possibly they haven't said a single thing to any individual all night. What is the deal? Do they hate you and everyone you care or love? Are you doomed to a life of agonizing joint socialization? Well, if they are among friends, chances are, they are having a good time, just soaking it all in and enjoying be present. Introverts are great observers of people and intent listeners. So, it is probably where those serious faces crop up. Make the occasional attempt to include them, because they might have something great to add, (or may not if they hate that) and just trust that they would tell you if they are not OK.
They Love Being Social
Your introvert partner can be a party animal. It’s true. There is a myth that introverts hate socialization. Human beings are social creatures. They cannot live on deserted islands or start talking to soccer balls. There are a number of introverts who would jump at the chance to do something joy able and social. But it is still going to tire them out, and they’re going to need to recharge. So, if something fun comes up, don't automatically expect your introvert partner already has plans with some other stuff.
They Like To Go Small And Go Home
If you wonder what to plan for your introvert partner’s birthday, the perfect date, or for that long-overdue vacation, have the popular the phrase, go big or go home and change it into, go small and go home. That usually (but not for every introvert) means small gatherings with close pals instead of big surprise parties, romantic dinner for two rather of nights at the club.
They Need Solitude
Introverts need So at times, you are going to need to just get out of their faces, to be blunt. Imagine about your introvert partner like your smartphone (in a completely metaphorical and non-automate nor objectifying way). Once that battery is exhausted, that thing's shutting down and you are not taking it anywhere except to the charger and it's not contacting anybody until it gets the juice it requires. In this case, the juice is alone time. And you are the partner who is leaving the designated spot.
They Do Not Like Small Talk
Introverts prefer to be social on their own terms. Some of them require to conserve their social energy at all costs, including avoiding small talk. If you are taking your introvert partner to meet some strangers, or if some random person in the store comes up and starts talking to you, take the charge and do the small talking. They will thank you later.
They Enjoy Weird Dates
Don't be amused if your introvert partner invites you over to sit on the couch and do not talk. Or to lay in bed together and read novels. It means your introvert is comfortable with you and wants to be beside you, but maybe do not have a ton of social energy. Feel good. It's an honor to be ignored this way around.
They Need To Sleep It Off
For some introverts, Saturday is for socializing and Sunday is for sleeping. Get that note somewhere in your mind. Many introverts start to get itchy and sometimes homicidal when they have excessive socializing to do for too many days in a row. They need rest, alone time for sure, but they also need sleep. Socializing takes a toll out of an introvert. Never stand between your introvert partner and their naps.
They Are Selective
Since introverts only have highly social energy to dissipate before they need to recharge, many tend to prefer to save it for a small group of close friends who they really like. So, if they are already having dinner with their best friend one night, they may genuinely not be up for dinner with yours the next day. Just remember, turning you down is not rude, intentional or personal. It is just a matter of survival and better self-care.
Please, remember like every other thing the true way to understand your introvert partner is lots of communication. But not an excess of it. At least not without proper breaks in between.