Newlyweds go all the way from the highs of the wedding and honeymoon into a crash course on a reality check in the married world. It is far too easy for newly married couples to make mistakes as they start to navigate through the rough waters of family, shared finances, and daily life.
In this article, Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo share practical advice and tips to newlyweds that could help avoid some of the most common pitfalls.
Never Go To Bed Angry
Even in the happiest of marriages, arguments are bound to happen. Learn to address any concern that arises head-on instead of holding them in. For many centuries, people have been providing advice to newlyweds that they should settle any disagreements before going to bed so that both the partners the next day can wake up with a renewed sense of marital bliss.
Deal With Your Own Family
Whether your family intervene or keeps to themselves, there is always the possibility that they will ruffle your partner’s feathers. When something like this happens, take it upon yourself to talk to your family and, if required, ask them to apologize to your spouse. This takes a big burden off of your spouse while keeping the family unit together.
Keep It Simple
After the vows, many newlywed couples are tempted to jump into a new life with both feet. This is often a blunder. You need to understand that you’ve just gotten married. More disruption, like moving, switching jobs, will only add stress. Try waiting at least 6 months after the wedding before making any significant changes to your lives.
Check Your Budget
As a new couple, you would be wondering at how fast your money goes. Try to track every sing penny, if possible, hire a financial planner if it works, and bear in minds that asking in-laws for loans is a quick way to starts fights and arguments between you.
Make Big Plans
You have only one life, and you have promised to spend it together. Why not plan big then? One thing that keeps newlyweds together is shared dreams. If one of you wants to be a successful businesswoman and the other wants to be an artist, talk it over. Maybe together you can make it happen, but you will have to start planning now.
Delay Starting a Family Until It Is Right
Assuming that there isn’t already a little bundle of joy on the way, delaying the decision to start a family gives you both plenty of scope to adjust to being together as a couple. Waiting a few years will also help you get a little progress down toward your target before taking up the duties of parenthood.
Be Mindful Of Each Other In the Minor And Major Things
Minor things can mean the world between newlyweds. Do the dishes, take the laundry basket out of your partner’s hands and do it yourself, and dust once in a while. Small gestures take the pressure off and remind your partner about one of the best things in marriage. Similarly, you are partners in everything. Your debts, troubles, and relatives are now held in common. Giving up a job so that your wife can live near the sea or putting off having a baby so that your husband can put in extra efforts at work, are big sacrifices that signal to your partner that you really feel you are into this together.
Spend Time Together
Take out time for each other. Until the kids come up which will happen sooner than later. Nobody in the world is as important as your partner with whom you’ve pledged to stand by forever. You were engaged in the first place because you like each other, so call out sick from work and switch off the phones for one day.
Maintain Reasonable Boundaries
Everybody has boundaries, and not all boundaries are supposed to be crossed. If you have an area of your life where your spouse is simply not welcomed, you should not feel guilty for excluding the other person. If your spouse wants to avoid an issue, won’t indulge a kink, or insists on being left alone, respect those boundaries. Crossing on them will be taken as just that trespassing.
Treat Each Other With Respect, Particularly In Public
You may think it is harmless banter to be talking about your partner’s strange grooming habits or lack of tidiness, but when you do it in front of other’s hurting your spouse’s feelings are inevitable. If you have something to say, do it in private and keep your friends and family out of the picture.
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