TIPS TO HELP YOUR MARITAL LIFE SURVIVE A NEW BABY

The arrival of your baby is certainly an exciting time but with it also makes you sore, sleep-deprived and covered in baby poop or vomit and it is natural to forget about the other person who sleeps in your room, your spouse. No sex for several weeks. A messy house. It's no surprise a new baby can put a strain on even in the strongest relationship.

A new baby quite understandably takes over your whole world. But making an effort to help your relationship survive these first few months will only make it simpler for both of you to swim through this time together.

Have a genuine conversation with your spouse about what to expect from each other during the initial months, and realize that life with a new-born can be chaotic, messy, and stressful but it will not last forever.

In today's article, Shivani Misri Sadhoo Founder of Saarthi Counselling Services and a well-known Marriage Counselor would share tips to help your marital life survive a new baby.

Try Not To Criticize

The daily stress of becoming a new parent can grow upon you, and your partner can be an easy target to express your frustrations. Becoming a new parent has a big learning curve, and everyone has their own unique way of doing it.

As you are settling into your new role, try not to criticize your spouse if they do not do something exactly the way you would like. Remember, different does not necessarily mean incorrect. Try to be appreciative of the fact that they are giving their best (just the way you are), but not everything will always be done properly or perfectly.

Ask For Help

Kindly bear in mind that having a baby is a partnership. Assuming excessive responsibility will only make you resentful. Come up with an idea to balance household chores and baby tasks, like taking turns with breakfast, laundry, and dishes.

Communicating for what you need assistance with and having a plan in hand will allow both of you to focus on your baby without feeling like you have a thousand other things you need to do. And do not turn down help from other sources if family and friends offer help, accept it.

If your spouse is breastfeeding, you can also help out with bottle feedings or with diapers and nap time. It’s the perfect chance for you to bond with your family’s new member.

Plan Alone Time

The arrival of a baby changes your life, but it does not change who you are as an individual. Although the baby is the new center of attraction, it is still essential to try to schedule time daily to talk about what else is happening in your lives.

Discussing your new bundle of joy might be your favorite topic of conversation for both of you, but ensure to talk about other aspects of your life too. Planning time to talk about how the 2 of you are individually, even if it is a while, you’re doing lots of laundries or washing the never-ending pile of feeding bottles will help maintain your identity as a couple, not only your identity as new parents.

Remain Intimate

Even when sex was not off the table for the first 6 weeks, the sleep deprivation alone will most probably make falling into bed for a nap seems much better than falling into bed for anything else.

Fortunately, there are other ways to remain intimate with your partner a simple back rub, holding of hands, a lingering hug and even a make-out session will help keep the spark alive.

When you are certain to do the deed and you feel up to it, make it a priority. Planning for sex may seem unromantic, and you may not actually be feeling super-sexy while countering on no sleep and no shower, but making it a part of your normal routine will help keep you connected and ensure you are making time for each other.

Know that several women take a much longer time to have a sex drive after giving birth, so make certain to keep the lines of communication are open and clear and let your partner know how you feel.

Appreciate Small Gestures

Grand romantic gestures will most likely fall by the side when you have a new baby at home. After all who has time now? Appreciate the small things that your partner does whether it is getting up in the morning to look after the baby, so you can get an additional amount of sleep, cleaning and sanitizing the bottles in the sink or doing other household work so you can have some quiet time.

Small gestures add up, and a heartfelt thank you can go a long distance in letting your partner know how much you appreciate whatever they do, small or large.