How to manage a wonderful relationship with your in-laws?

Do you have a mother-in-law who never misses a chance to criticize your work, attitude or actions and never addresses your positive side? Or got a father-in-law who’s a know-it-all and always put his views between your partner and kids? It’s often seen that many marriages suffer drastically due to in-laws interferences and partners reach stages of depression or even separation and that’s not all. Poor relationship with in-laws affects the life of the parents and kids who miss their grandparents. Today Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert suggests some important tips for maintaining a good relationship with in-laws.

Avoid sharing your marital problems with your parents. 

A lot of partners make this mistake to discuss the marital issues with their parents, especially in their early phase of their marriage. Avoid that, unless you have an exploitive partner and you feel insecure or feel no motivation to live with. In such a case, its good to let your folks know who you think won't be biased to know as to what's going on in your life.

Otherwise, fix problems in a marriage within a marriage — not by turning away from your partner and towards your parents. You can love your parents and have a rich, active relationship with them without involving them in your marriage. And remember: If you vent to your parents every time you’re angry or hurt, they’ll build a case against your partner. You and your spouse may make up, but your family may still remember the hurt your spouse has caused you and may hold a grudge.

Avoid being the right fighter.

Do you always need to be right during an argument? Even if your in-laws are totally in the wrong, the way you react to a situation could inflame and overshadow your position. It’s not about being right, It’s about being happy, and peaceful and tranquil for you and the kids. 

Communicate directly.

Whenever possible, avoid communicating through a third party. Don't ask your spouse to talk to his mother about something she did that hurt your feelings. Talk to your mother-in-law directly.

If something bothers you, address it as soon as possible. Sometimes it's a genuine problem; other times, it might be a misunderstanding. This is true when couples belong to the different cultural backgrounds where cultural misunderstandings are very common and cause unnecessary distress without in-laws or the partner ever realizing.

Set appropriate boundaries. 

Set boundaries about when they are or are not invited into your lives so they can come in and out of your life appropriately. You’ve got a finite amount of physical and emotional energy. If your in-laws are draining you, you may need to change the boundaries. Reassure them that you are not closing them out.