HOW TO STAY TOGETHER AS A COUPLE DURING A CRISIS?

Even when life seems good, being married and keeping a relationship intact and together can sometimes seem hard enough to do. And it can particularly feel impossible when you are combining two very different people with very contrasting pasts.

So often in moments of crisis, when you are both experiencing unimaginable discouragement, pain, and disappointments, it can be really easy to turn against each other rather than combine together as a force and fight as a team for your marriage and future.

Yes, all good things in life are worth fighting for, and you need to believe that your marriage is on the top of that list.

Things like trauma, illness, depression, fear, infidelity are various forms of crisis that can occur in any couple’s life. And, they often led ways to fall apart as a couple too. See when life is added in and the waves or storms just start to swirl, sometimes it may appear that it is impossible to stick together and survive the catastrophe. You need to trust that actually it is truly possible to stay together in the times of a crisis.

India's eminent marriage Counselor and psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares few ways on how to stay together as a couple during a crisis.

Many People in Crisis Needs Someone To Be Calm, Safe And A Little Directive

Ask your partner if they want a safe person to vent to, or if they want real advice. Depending on the gravity of the crisis, some people actually do need suggestions about how to proceed, but it is important to ask permission to give advice before offering it. Often people feel that giving advice as a message that they are not capable or stupid and cannot resolve things out for themselves.

Being a Safe Partner Means Calm And Curious

Never allow your emotional reactivity forcing you to act in a stressed, anxious and judgemental way. Pacify your own reactivity so you can be present, calm and soothing for your spouse. Ask a few questions from a position of curiosity, “Tell me a bit about why you were worried about that? Rather than a point of judgment, “Why on earth would you do that?”

Another helpful thing a spouse could do is help to give their partner perspective

This appears like a crisis and it is really critical, but will this impact your lives a few years down the line? One year from now? Three weeks from now? Holding respect for the crisis while offering to strip away the adversity aspect of problem situations can help your spouse get composed and think things through in a different perspective. Last not least, offering up your unconditional love and support can go a long way.

Most essentially, you need to believe that if you can just remember the motive you came together as a couple, and adhere to that passion you had, in the beginning, to fight for them and for the marriage, you too can come out determined and more in love than ever before.

And hopefully, through all the pain and ignominy there will be a beautiful lesson that you can then share with others in your life.