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Showing posts from January, 2016

Being Alone vs. Being Lonely

There are people who feel lonely but are alone and there are those who choose to be alone but are not necessarily alone, i.e. surrounded by people. So what make us feel lonely? Is it just isolation from social life or one can be lonely in the midst of all social activities? Today Psychologist Shivani Sadhoo answers some of the interesting facts and mind factors behind being alone and being lonely.
First understand, loneliness is a universal human emotion, yet it is both a complex and unique to each individual. It is commonly described as a state of solitude or being alone but in reality, loneliness is a state of mind. This state of mind causes people to feel empty, alone and unwanted. People who are lonely often crave human contact, but their state of mind makes it more difficult to form connections with other people. Loneliness as per psychological definition is not necessarily about staying & living physically alone, instead, it is the perception of being alone and isolated that …

Mistakes Most People Make At the beginning of Their Relationships

Many among us have bitter experiences in life, where we have found a wonderful person, who seemed all perfect, understood us and the relationship started on a wonderful note. Then all of sudden everything falls apart and we were left wondering what went wrong, was it a wrong understanding or we did something wrong in the beginning of the relationship.
Today Shivani Misri Sadhoo, eminent relationship counsellor and psychologist shares some of the most common mistakes people make at the beginning of their relationship.
1. Put a hold on your enthusiasm
The first thing you should do in the beginning of your relationship is to cut your enthusiasm. Even if inside you are jumping with joy because you have found someone wonderful, who can understand you; hold back on the celebrations until the relation gets the chance to develop really deep. Except telling your family or a family member (who can help you with their experience and has a better understand of life), avoid posting status updates on …

How Many of Your Facebook Friends Could You Count on In a Crisis?

Today all of us are on social media and every day within minutes we come know how our friend’s new car looks like, where they have gone for a vacation, how was their last night's party, how they look in their new hair style etc. No doubt social media give us an absolute sense of what is happening in our friend’s life but have you ever asked yourself how many friends out of the list of hundreds or thousands, could you count on in a crisis? Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo says that a relationship can genuinely be nurtured with face to face interactions, hugs and with real chats and outings. Although social media does allow us to interact with man people at the same time, but these online connections usually don't translate into stronger social bonds of close friends. Social media may help to slow down the natural rate of decay in a relationship quality that would set in once we cannot readily meet our friends face-to-face. But no amount of social media will prevent a friend even…

When you feel low here are some simple ways to help lift your mood.

Every day is a new day with different set of challenges and with different reasons to smile in office, educational institution and at home. Some situations and incidences make us happy and energetic and some make us feel unhappy, low in spirit and weaken our performances. Today Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo Shares some simple ways to help lift your mood.
MAKE YOUR ACTIONS INDEPENDENT FROM YOUR EMOTIONS
If there's something that you need to do and is bothering you because you are not feeling right to start or continues the work then take a 5-10 minutes break and go for a short walk outside of your home or office and come back to finish the task.  Remember low mood generally happens because things that bother us keep on accumulating in our mind. Build a habit to make your actions free from your emotions.
SOCIALISE
If you are feeling low and want to stay along that’s fine do it, but do not over spend time alone, talk to friends and family about how you are feeling. If they don't …

Things You Don’t Know About SAD

Finally, the chilled winters have arrived in Delhi and in other parts of Northern India. The beautiful bright and warm days seem to get replaced with cloudy and foggy time. Possibly, chilled winter wind will arrive in Delhi in next 2-3 days. While some perceive winter as a festive time, an opportunity to wear the colourful jackets, woollens, enjoys night inside a warm blanket, others feel that they are being suffocated by a literally colourless existence. It’s the time of the year when a lot of people suffer from winter depression. 
Today, PsychologistShivani Misri Sadhoo shares from unknown facts about Seasonal Affective Disorder.
1.    As per recent studies, 60% to 90% of people who suffer from SAD are women. If you are a female between 15 and 55, you are more likely to develop SAD than men. However, men too are prone to SAD.
2. Even though harsh cold wind and dark fog seem to be a major cause of uncontrolled sadness, but, in reality, SAD is related more to daylight, not the temperate.…

How to make a good first impression, captivate an audience and get more respect at work?

Be it a office party, seminar, professional conference or meeting your top management, your first impression does make a big difference on your career to get more respect at work. It does not matter if you’re a shy or an extrovert personality, Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo share that to impress and captivate your audience, you need a self-aware and a controlled conversational approach.  Here are some tips to make a good first impression and to captive an audience.
1.  Don’t pretend that you are confident: if your listener is seriously putting his/her attention to know and understand you and what you are saying, the person will immediately realize that you are not confident but pretending to be one.  Instead of pretending to be confident, prior to initiating your conversation try to remember a beautiful moment that has happened in another dimension of your life, like a family function, a vacation, your parents, etc. This will immediately help you focus outside of your current situat…

Secrets of keeping your personal power with yourself.

A husband complains that his Sunday depends on his wife’s mood, an employee complaint's against his enthusiasm in office is dead due to an uncanny colleague; it seems as though almost everyone at some point of time or all the time, has given someone else power over the way they think, feel, or behave. Today, psychologist Shivani Sadhoo Misri shares some tips to keep your personal power.
1. Establish Self standards
Refusing to speak, maintaining an angry look, talking loudly; think hard, in all these process you give someone else the power of how you react, behave and feel. Rather than blame others for wasting your time or forcing you to do something, recognize that you're in charge of yourself. Establish healthy physical and emotional boundaries that give you control over how you spend your time and whom you spend it with.
2. Don't waste energy complaining.
Problem-solving and problem complaining are two different ends of our approach to any problem. Venting to your friends, f…

Want to Have a Serious Conversation With your Loved One? Wait till Dinner

Have you ever wondered why some conversations with your loved one go so smooth and interacting and some conversations go so dry? Do you know that there is a particular time of the day when both men and women are in best mental setup to do serious conversation and they will feel much more satisfied from their talk?
In a recent study conducted by British retailer Asda, it was found that women are often inclined to start a serious conversation in the morning and men are more likely to be receptive to them in the evening.
Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo suggests partners to:
Avoid serious conversations, as much as possible in the morning because at that time men generally focus on their office tasks, the journey to office, job deadlines etc.
Avoid serious conversations, as much as possible in the evening because emotional readiness to do serious conversation before dinner becomes weak. Either one or both of the partners in the evening time are likely to be tired, hungry or rushed, under suc…

Secrets of Self-Confidence

How to maintain a good self-confidence level in day to day life?
The word ‘confidence’ is derived from Latin word ‘fidere’, i.e. to trust. Self-confidence means to trust and have faith in oneself and all of us essentially need to trust ourselves first to do any act effectively, be it a job interview, giving a presentation, proposing the person you love etc. However in today’s competitive, material driven and achievement-oriented society, maintaining a healthy self-worth all the time is becoming more and more difficult, the tendency to be affected by low self-esteem is becoming more chronic and widespread. Today PsychologistShivani Misri Sadhoo shares how to maintain a good self-confidence level in the day to day life.  
1. Avoid Tagging
People generally understand that person can either have high self-confidence or low self-confidence, but that is not the truth. Most of us are in the middle spectrum of high and low confidence level, for certain aspects of life we are very confident and f…

How to Gain Control Over Negative Thoughts?

Thoughts and behaviours are the only two life’s elements, we can 100% control (if we are willing), rest are influenced by end number of external or uncontrollable factors like – hereditary, genetics, environment, another human beings etc. But today things are not happening the way it was made by evolution; now thoughts, especially the negative one are controlling people. Negative thoughts for some are becoming so much uncontrollable & unbearable that they are shortening their human lifespan.
Whether it is a fight with your partner or not doing well at the job interview, negative rumination robs you of your present moment, your well-being and over the time can lead to serious problems like depression or anxiety. Today psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares tips for how to gain control over negative thoughts.
1) Identify the activities that can change your emotion. 
Just like negative emotions and thoughts affect our activities, by making us anxious and depressed similarly, there are…